crashinashley (crashinashley) wrote,

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Second Entry

I'm back in toronto. Maybe that's a mistake. Maybe i should've listened to dad when he told me to stay in London for a bit longer. I don't know. I think i royaly screwed up my relationship...again. I feel thats all i ever do anymore. I just HAD to play hero last night and now Craig is so angry with me. He was shouting and yelling it was so scary. I thought he was going to hit me I didn't mean to make him so angry, i just wanted to help out Manny and Emma. They were totally drunk and leaving them at a party with a bunch of college guys did not sound like the safest or smartest things. I never meant to hurt Craig. But i somehow did. We both stormed off last night. I hate not knowing what is going to happen I just keep waiting for the phone to ring, for Craig to call me and break up with me. It's only logical. He broke my heart, i broke his. I Love him so much. Oh please let me be wrong about it. I feel so alone here. Turns out that Mom and Jeff forgot that i was coming so soon, they went to yellow knife for a trip and aren't due to come back til sunday night. So if someone wants to drop by and see me, i'd be enternally greatful.

Emma and Manny- What you did was very ignorant, stupid and selfish. Last night was a one time deal. You get drunk again, it won't be me dragging you guys to Emma's doorstep.

Ellie and Paige- I'm sorry i haven't been that great of a friend lately. I hope you can forgive my absecence. We will do something. not a party and we can catch up, hang out and just have lots of fun. You guys call always give me a call.

Craig- I'm sorry about our fight last night Please don't leave me i didn't realize how upset it made you. I missed you so much while i was gone and fighting with you made me so sad. I LOVE you and i always have/will. That i can promise you. I'm sorry for playing hero, it was just something i felt i had to do, at the time. never again i do want us to spend time together, alone, with friends just having you near me means the world to me. Can we please talk about this? I can't stand fighting with you, i need you. I know you need me too. Please forgive me? I love you. Let's talk. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm going to go take a nap now and wait for Craig to call

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